i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Jerry, you need to find god
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
