I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize