What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
