You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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