TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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