There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize