and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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