There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
