Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
did i walk over a car last night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
