Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
