I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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