he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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