what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
