I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
