Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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