not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
