Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
