we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
