Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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