I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
