we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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