Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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