How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
