if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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