If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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