The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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