Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she peed on how many people?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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