Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
