he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
