Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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