Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
