This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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