pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
