I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
