I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
