i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
