I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
