just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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