I seem to have left my pride at pride
Fuck appropriateness.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
