I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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