She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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