Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
