I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
