I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
