Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
