Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
