He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
