I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
