Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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