At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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