so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
