he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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