PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
