Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
