I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
