Tell her she can't have a vagina
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize