Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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