You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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