omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize