are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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