i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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