Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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